Motivation Lost

After a couple of years  working with no plans for the future, I find myself wondering, What do I want to be when I grow up?  Where do I start and how the heck am I going to get there.  Being unemployed has made me take a long hard look at these questions and going nowhere fast.  The only things I know for sure are that if I could make a living doing my favorite thing I would be the happiest woman on land and sea.  If I could read and make a decent living just reading I would be extremely happy and whole.  Since I know this is not  possible as least as far as I have found, I must keep searching for what else motivates me.

Over the last two years,  I stopped writing completely, finding  that the work I was doing took all my mental capacity and left me drained. I was drinking heavily and making poor choices. Now my hubby and I are in the middle of the Whole30(r) program. My body shape is changing, clothes are fitting(a nice side effect), I’m sleeping, dreaming and thinking about what comes next. Do I want a typical job, or do I want another contract or do I want to take a risk and work for myself and what would that look like?   At the moment, none of these options appeal to me enough to motivate me to make a choice.

After taking numerous personality tests online, I have learned things about myself  that I never had the courage to admit.  I am wondering what happened to that girl who was going to concur the world, that woman who was fearless, that spouse who was more caring, that mother who was more giving. Where did she go and how the hell do I get her back?



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Carnal Diaries Combo, Available in Print #ian #asmsg #eroticromance #smexy #interracialromance #erotica

Rock Star Lover kept me up all night , it is a hot wet steamy read! This one stays on the book shelf. Waiting until the weekend to read Masked Desires cause a gal needs her beauty sleep.

Whispers in the Dark

Good news! Rock Star Lover and Masked Desires Combo edition is available in print at your favorite book store!

“Let me rock your body in ways you will never forget.”

Adobe Photoshop PDF


Rock Star Lover

Blues singer, Aubrey Anderson finds herself tangled in the reality of her secret desire. Her head tells her to devote her life to the good, steady man, who intends to marry her. But her heart reaches for her childhood friend–British rocker, Ripp Collins.

For the sake of their friendship, Ripp has always respected the distance Aubrey put between them. But once he learns of her engagement, he is no longer willing to bury his feelings for her.

Can he convince her to give into him, despite his bad boy reputation, or will she keep running from the passion they could share?


“If I told you I would give up the fame to be with you, would you believe me?”

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Mermaid- A body found An animal plant documentary re-aired

While surfing the channels while on vacation I stumbled upon a the documentary that has supporting evidence  that a humanoid like creature exists in our oceans.  I was but having a previous engagement I made a note of it and promised myself that I would watch it at a later time.   Two weeks later vacation over and a day after spending more time waiting on planes to take off  than I care to remember, I watched the documentary in its entirety.  My first reaction was Mermaids exist , my second reaction was I hope we never find them again. My third reaction – could I really believe what I just saw or was it a hoax. I do have to say that the animation was fun to watch, the recreation of what Mermaid look like even cooler but in the end I was not truly convinced.  I do believe that there are other creatures in the ocean that we have yet to discover and they may have humanoid characteristics.

For now if they do exist then I hope we (humans) let them live in peace.

Mankind is known for destroying and or driving things we know nothing about to extinction. -( Mermaids,2012)

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Rated x or rated G

After drinking far too much last night I have decided to make it clear that my blog will have mature content. How are the two related you say? Simply I have read more erotica in the last 3 months than should be allowed, will more than likely read more in the months to come and so the reviews I will be writing are of an adult nature. Today I’m hung over and thinking clearly that 1. why did I abuse myself and 2. its time to come out of the dark so to speak and do what I like. 3. The majority of the blogs I follow/read are of a mature nature. 4. it might just be my mid-life crisis talking. 5. it could be a million other things.

We will see how far this goes or whether or not its a complete bust.

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Who is Mermaid?

Mermaid loves all things associated with the ocean and diving but most of all she is an avid reader and will be testing her skills in writing and hopefully along the way will inspire others to do the things they love.

After many months of reading  blogs and books I decided it was time to revive my blog. Originally a  it was on Yahoo and I used it to just give my opinion on current events. This blog will not be that. Here my plan is to review blogs and books that strike a chord with me.  Later in the year I will be taking a family vacation and if anything cool happens it will appear here.  Comments are always welcome.

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